I was having a party the other day with some friends, my sister happened to be there also (yes, the infamous blogger has a sister....unfortunately we are polar opposites. It's like Marilyn Monroe and Marilyn Manson being related...I will not tell you which is which, since she also reads this blog.) The topic of jealousy came up...not quite sure how it did, but as everyone knows....get a bunch of CLOSE friends together...Martinis and and Margaritas....and MANY topics come up. So we ( o.k. I mean I) was polling the crowd to see who was a jealous person and who was not. As you may have guessed...there was not ONE person in the group that was jealous...yeah I believe that load of garbage...I do not think that there is one person out there that does not get at least a little spark of jealousy. And by a little jealousy, I do not mean following your significant other to the grocery store to see if they are checking out the cashier and then slicing their tires for asking for the Bonus Card. I mean having that "OMG" feeling when something happens, and you secretly wanting to rip out the throat of the gorgeous woman that they looked at for 1.2 seconds as she walked by.
So let me correct my previous statement of NO ONE...actually my sister did say that she is struck by the green eyed monster quite often, I was a little shocked by this, since my sister always was the stable one in the family. If the decision was to place her or I in a dark room with a knife and three people we hated the most....SHE was the one you would assume would NOT hack up the crowd... :)
So...I was thinking about that and wondered how two people that were raised by the same parents with the same values could be complete opposites on the subject. Nothing really came to mind until the jealous bug hit me the other day. NOW, let me tell you a little history on the matter of me and jealousy. I have dated many men who were "social" for a lack of a better word. Very flirtatious men who had LOTS and LOTS and LOTS and LOTS (I think you get the picture) of girlfriends. And many of these girls still hung around. And after I began dating these men, I realized why....LOL! So one of my ex boyfriends that I dated for a few years, who was considered a LADIES man used to go out with his female ex friends on a regular basis. There was nothing inside of me that sparked the green eyed monster. And now a few of you reading this are thinking to yourself. "It's because these other girls were not attractive, or didn't pose a threat to you". WRONG....these ladies were very attractive...VERY...and in fact were almost exactly the type that turned him on...A LOT! The thing was, I just was not jealous...and my thought was...if he wanted to do something with someone else, he is going to do it whether I am jealous or not...so I didn't worry at all. AND GUESS WHAT? He never cheated on me, and I do believe him...he was not like that ( at least with me he wasn't...he he he). And this is how I have been with most of my boyfriends.. Well, the other day I took my boyfriends daughter to the pool..nice day, something to do with the kids and all. And the absolutely gorgeous lifeguard that works there was laying out in her skimpy she hasn't had kids to ruin her body bathing suit. And let me tell you she has one KNOCK OUT BODY. And her face is very pretty too. So I get there in my cover it all cause I don't want the world to see what I truly look like under this cover up bathing suit and begin to get the kids into the pool. So, she begins small talk with me like she always does...asking where I have been...how work is...how cute my son is...BLAH BLAH BLAH... and she was talking about something and my little Princess says "Oh yeah my dad and I came here the other day"...Now, this was like in slow motion...The beautiful I eat nothing but rice cakes life guard looks at Princess and says.." Yeah on Monday afternoon"..then turns to me in another slow motion look and says.."OH is THAT your husband?" NOW LET ME TRY TO DESCRIBE this a little more to you. THE LOOK on her face was OH FUCK FUCK FUCK I think that my flirting and hoping that this gorgeous guy that must have JUST moved in and that I masturbated to his image for the past few days is MARRIED! My Princess replys to her stating that we are dating...which is nice :) Beautiful lifeguard that now I want to take my cell phone and jam it down her throat, laughs off the awkward smile with..."well soon to be husband"! If ever in my life I needed a empty country road with some great friends and lime..............
So...we are walking over to our seats and Princess says...yeah Daddy and her were talking when we were here.....(whats that sound that comes out of a cartoons ears when they are mad to show the steam?...THAT was what I heard at the moment). So here I am in my not so sexy I had two children and I have no time for the gym bathing suit...and she walks over to her chair with her I am thirty and I have a GREAT ass, look at my long wavy hair like I am some kind of super model bathing suit...AND the GREEN EYED MONSTER HITS. And now I am wondering what they talked about...and why he didn't come to the pool with us today...and will he want to come here again when I am not with him so they can talk some more? And does he wish I looked like that! And I realized that this is EXHAUSTING...OMG you women that are constantly jealous expend a LOT of energy on this stuff, and I reminded myself that...there are MANY MANY MANY very hot I look like this when I get out of bed and I could suck the SHIT out of your boyfriends finger till he gets hard in his pants kind of girls. BUT the one thing they don't have is what I am. And what I am is wonderful. So, the I look great and I wish your boyfriend was mine life guard can have her thoughts, because what I have is a very sexy I like you a lot and I may even love you when I am drunk kind of guy. And I will not let the GREEN EYED monster take that away.
Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own. ~Harold Coffin
