Double Standards

I am sorry to my friend that this is about, but you gave me my "AH HA" blog moment today when we were outside having one of those things that everyone has been up my ass about smoking.
So, I was talking with this fabulous person about my blog. Due to the fact that if the author of this blog was known to many, there would be a national disastor...and many people would lose their lives (I am kidding about the national disastor LOL), there are not many people who has this blog location. So, when I feel close to someone I will give them the address for them to dive into the dark life that I have created for myself. So...I asked my friend how they liked my blog, and they did (they even stated that they may have peed their pants a few times during the reading of it). HOWEVER...after that nice reflection of my writing abilities they said the one thing that I never even thought of..."ooooohhhh your a little bitter". OK hold up here my used to be friend that I may now have to slice your tires so that I can PRETEND to want to give you a ride home, but end up dropping you in a ditch somewhere......what did you just say? BITTER? Am I really bitter? Bitter about all the using, backstabbing, freaks of nature that call themselves relationship material posing as human beings on the Inernet and in bars? Ok..that did sound just a tad bit bitter...it's late and I just had to do homework with a ten year old, what do you expect.

O.K. back on track. I AM NOT BITTER!!

So.....i was doing some research on this so called "bitter" topic that my EX friend said I was. And one thing that I realized was....women seem to be called BITTER and men are called "not a relationship kind of guy", I mean come on.....a guy treats us like crap....uses us like a piece of meat...takes our money...expects us to pay for EVERYTHING....and barely wants to make time for us...then breaks up with us...and WE are called bitter...he is called "smothered". O.K. so I wanted to hand feed him and help him dress in the morning, doesn't every girl want to do that? NOW....if we women use the guy...and this is a stretch...cause we ALL know that we (women) are perfect and never do anything wrong in a relationship...but if this were to ever happen in some FICTIONAL land we would be called a BITCH and he would be called taken advantage of. So....let me recap here....either way you look at it WE ARE THE BAD GUYS!!!!!! or girls! :)

So...why this double standard? Why are the women the over emotional crazy loons that don't know how to act after a relationship is over? I mean come on....give us a little credit here...it's not like we write songs about slicing tires, writing our names in our cheating boyfriends car or anything like that!

So...to my friend..I am not bitter, but realistic! Realistic that most men do not have the cojones to actually be honest and tell a woman...
"I am just going to use you for a few months. I like you (sorta), but I am really looking for the next best thing. I truly just want to see how many girls I can screw and screw over in my life. The guy with the most broken hearts WINS!"

All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all others.
Quoted by Cynthia Heimel

Types of Men

It has been a while, I am sorry that I have not been as loyal to my bloggers as I have been in the past. There has been a little lul in my life, but don't you worry I AM BACK ON TRACK!! Today's topic is one that many women and gay men alike know of: The FOUR types of men. NOW, I will say that there are quite a few men that I have run into that fall into multiple categories (this I will example later in the blog). So, when reading this, if you find yourself thinking "MY MAN IS NOT like that", you are a) kidding yourself b) must be dating the second comming of CHRIST or c) delusional and have not been taking your medication properly.

First Type of Man
Hit and Run-
This man is a funny little character. He is one that will place ads all over the Internet on various sites. Most of the time he has a GREAT picture, one that shows off that cute little smile. He has an interesting profile, saying all the things that most women want to hear. And I will say that he genuinly believes that things in his profile. When you message and or call him, he is interested in what you have to say, even talks about meeting up with you. And guess what? YOU DO MEET UP! You meet, he is attentive, romantic, funny, and completely the guy that you are looking for. So, you let down your guard and have a little fun with him that leads to a lot of fun that leads to HEAVY PETTING!! So, you are on cloud 9, he EVEN calls you when he is on his way home saying that he had a terrific night. So, you sleep well dreaming of the children that you will someday have with the wonderful man you exchanged fluids with. You wake up the next morning and you cannot wait to talk to him again. NOW, if this was 1983, you would have waited for him to call you. BUT this is 2009 and you have text messaging...you send him a good morning message in hopes to get something cute back (like you did BEFORE you met). NOTHING..."he must be busy", you say to your self. YOU WAIT! NOTHING....all day long. That's ok cause he must be busy, right? NO! He is not busy...you have just met the Hit and Run GUY. This guy is super interested but as soon as he knows that it could lead to a little more, he is GONE! The funny thing about these guys...you are not done with them. They WILL call again, and if you are not heavily medicated and at your full potential youjust may go with the cycle until you realize there are just so many tire tracks a girl can have before she cannot find a pair of shoes to match. THIS ONE will NEVER change. He loves to make as many conquests as he can...and the Internet is his ocean.

The Smotherer-
I know you are thinking that I just made up a word, believe me I wish I did. This kind of guy is the creepy kind. Yes, it seems wonderful at first, this great attentive man will make you feel like a princess. He may even buy you tons of romantic gifts at the beginning of the relationshiop. So how can this guy be single you wonder OVER AND OVER again? You like him so much, he is over everyday...you two are inseperable. Then you want to go out with the girls one night, he pouts cause he wants to be with you. AWWWWW thats so adorable, but like the independent girl you are, you go. You get tons of cute text messages that he misses you...AWWWW! NO this is NOT AWWWW.....this is the starts of a smothering relationship. You may not go out for a while, you may stay with him as much as possible cause you love that he is soooooooooooo attentive. However, the minute you do decide to go out, he acts the same way again. But this time he is a big ol' baby about it. "You must not love me anymore", "you don't spend time like that with me", "I'll go out with my friends then"...waawaaawaaa LMAO. Get rid of this one. He has MOMMIE issues and will never change. Ask yourself, is being treated like a princess worth loosing your identity? NO IT'S NOT...........NEXT!!

The Committment Phobe-
This man is the worst of all. This man is a Trojen Horse...and wolf in sheeps clothing. He may or may not come off like the Smotherer at first. But 99% of the time, he tells you want you want to hear.He will stay up on the phone with you talking about your desire, dreams, wants, and ambitions. You seem to know so much about him in a short period of time. Many times the Committment Phobe will move REAL fast, you hear things like "I have never met a woman like you before" "Other girls I have dated are not like you", or my favorite "I LOVE YOU". Now please do not think that I am not a romantic and think that some relationships can start off strong and be fantstic. This type of guy shows his true colors soon. Now when the committment phobe has you...this is where the scary things begin to happen. You notice he pulls away often, but not enough to make you think that he wants to get out of the relationship, but enough. He begins to do more things with his friends all along telling you how much he loves you and misses you and should have stayed home with YOU instead. So, you think BOYS WILL BE BOYS, and forgive him. So, you begin to do more for him cause you believe that if you showed him how much you loved HIM he would return to that guy that was at the beginning of the relationship. He does for a little but then returns to his old self. Then you find him on dating sites "just LOOOKINH"...when you confront him, he tells you that those were sites that he was on before he met you....and that he logged in to see how to delete his profile (logging in once could be the truth....logging in four times a day for a week is not) OK PLEEAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.....you believe that? YEP...we do, we believe that cause "that could happen" NO....a blind mouse could delete his profile off of a dating website on the first try. BUT you are convinced that he must love you cause he is still around and still telling you that if he wanted to be with someone else he would. <-------------- that last part is true. If there was someone else that he found while he was "deleting" his profile.....he wouldn't be with you. This kind of man believes that he wants a serious relationship and then cries to everyone how he tries so hard, but girls end up breaking up with him for no reason...or they just keep cheating on him. Don't pass go...DON'T collect 200$ GET OUT OF THERE FAST! **I did date a guy that was a smotherer and a committment phobe...so yes, the two can meet** And for those of you that knew him...he was a crazy fuck. And another little side note...many of the smotherers that I dated...tended to have small cocks, not sure if thats a correlation...but I am throwing it out there! :)

The last Type of Guy
The Good Guy
YES...it is not a myth or an urban legend. So ladies do not feel depressed or think that you will never find Mr. Right...he is out there. My queen has found him and so has my mom. So, no the odds are not with you...but like any good deal...you have to KEEP SEARCHING!
Happy Dating!